Monday, January 24, 2011

So, I'm back...

I am going to be honest here and say that I thought coming back would make me feel different.

It didn't.

Last year, after that amazing month in Thailand, I felt rejuvenated. I felt excited. I felt like I could take on the world and convert everyone to Star Trek TNG fans (seriously, why does everyone like the Original Series?).

Coming back from Germany definitely wasn't the same.

I had to talk myself onto the plane. I had to talk myself off the plane. I had to talk myself onto the marshut and again to walk across the border. Of course, that extra 2 hours we spent at the border really did not help my constitution, but that was just the kind of welcome you'd expect when you were having trouble gearing yourself up.

No. This time was different. After a long week in Germany, I really wasn't ready to come back to my super cold apartment, but I did and I can tell you...

I am glad I came back.

Really. Of course, it took a day for me to get my emotions in check and to really think about what was going on, but I realized, I am choosing to be here. I chose this and I am happy I did. I still have so much left to learn and so many more goals to achieve that another year is just what I need.

Still, it is hard knowing what I am delaying and what I am forgoing to be here. I really do want to travel the world, eat white sausage for breakfast everyday, take hot showers each night...

I guess the point is that there never really is a day or a month or a year where you do not question your choice of living overseas in such a situation as Peace Corps requires. Peace does not settle in your heart and every puzzle piece falls into place. I mean, if that were the case, what would be the point? This experience is not meant for the complacent, it is meant for the hearty. The ready. The willing.

Good news. I am all those things and more...well, right now, I am cold, but I am committed. Here comes year 3.