Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Real Blog Post

I went hiking today. It is moments like these that I am struck by the absolute awesomeness of where I live and what I am doing. I am a Peace Corps Volunteer. Right now, only 3,000 other people can claim that distinction. I live in Azerbaijan. Nobody knows where that is. I live in Zaqatala. Hands down, it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever experienced in my life.

Yet, at the same exact moment, I am filled with an intense frustration. Being a PCV is hard. Living in Azerbaijan is harder. Most of my days I struggle to fill with meaningful activities. No, I have stopped searching for meaningful and now I simply search for action. Why is this so hard? I come from strong stock. I never get homesick. I am a perpetual optimist and still, I find myself being pulled down into a pit of continued self-pity and frustration.

I know all this will pass and sometime, in the future, I will be happy and excited and optimistic again. I know this will happen because I know myself. I know that I will continue to talk about extending my service or Peace Corps Response or Peace Corps activism. I know I will continue to promote international development. I know these things, which is what gets me through the bad days. Well, that and delicious dark chocolate.